On Wednesday, Parker had his newborn pictures bright and early in the morning. He was bright eyed & bushy tailed! His brother, on the other hand, wasn't into the pictures too much. While doing some shots of Parker in just his diaper, Brian commented about how his chest kept going in when he was breathing. We all noticed it, but I commented that it's been doing that, and our photographer commented that she thought it was probably pretty normal for newborns. Our photo session was actually cut short because I forgot how long it takes to get a newborn ready to leave the house (you know, walking out the door and they poop or have a blowout diaper, or spit up on you, requiring a change of clothing...or perhaps even a combination of all of the above)...and I neglected to think of this in addition to leaving with a 4 year old. We had our routine, postpartum follow-up appointment at the hosptial and Nolan had a picnic for his preschool at the park.
Halfway to the park to drop off Nolan it dawned on me that
So, we drop Nolan off and I truly didn't even get a chance to kiss him goodbye (which I NEVER not do), but I said a quick bye out the window and blew him a kiss as he excitedly ran off to his teacher. We booked it to the hosptial for our follow-up with about 1 minute to spare, literally. Parker's right ear had to be retested because it had failed 2 times before leaving the hospital, which we were told is very common due to fluid from birth, etc. and we were assured several times that almost always they pass when coming back for our follow-up. So, since he was away, we went ahead and did my check-up and question portion and he was brought back in about the time we were finishing up. He passed! The nurse began to undress him and noted that he was poopy...I felt my face redden a bit as I admitted we forgot the diaper bag and tried to convince her that we seriously aren't those kind of parents, etc. She laughed and told me she isn't out of practice and still forgets theirs in the chaos of having several kiddos. Whew. Our conversation was interrupted when she immediately noticed his chest. She hooked him up and sure enough his respiratory rate was very rapid indeed. In fact, it was almost 100 and it should be between 40-60 (and 60 is typically the higher end). She watched it for some time, called in another nurse, continued to monitor it and no improvement. His oxygen levels however, were great right at 100...perfect. She told me she needed to call our peditrician. When she hung up, I was surprised to hear her say that we needed to take him over to ER.
We get to ER rather quickly and get right in. The ER has a portion that is affiliated with Cardinal Glennon for pediatrics, but unfortunately, not during the hours that we were there. They did a chest x-ray, hooked him up to machines to be monitored, and kept in contact with our pediatrician. Then, we were told that they needed to go ahead and get blood cultures and labs. The phlebotomist came in to do this. He searched for several veins and then commented that he typically doesn't do children only 5 days old and wasn't sure how comfortable he felt doing it. He said he would look for a good vein, and if he felt like he couldn't find one then he'd call over to L&D and have one of their nurses come over to do it since they're more accustomed to it. After several minutes and a phone call later he notifies us that he didn't find a vein, but there was no one available to currently come over. Great...really? Like I want you to go poking on my baby after you built up so much confidence in yourself?! More tears fell and I already began to get one of those headaches you get from crying so much. He even started looking for a vein in his head. A few pokes later the IV was in, blood vials were taken, and the blood they needed for the culture came from the several heal pricks they did. The ER dr came in and told me that at this point they had decided along with our ped to send him by ambulance over to Cardinal Glennon in St. Louis.
I was told no nursing until Glennon said it was okay, so here I was...no pump, milk that had just come in a couple of days prior, a supply I was terrified of losing, no purse, no diaper bag, no goodbye kiss to my other son, and no idea what was going on with my baby boy and about to ride in an ambulance with my husband following in our car behind. Oh yeah, and did I mention that for some reason my cell phone battery was already on low and we had no charger, change of clothes, etc with us either...I mean really, why would we?
I'm not going to go into a ton of details about our time at Cardinal Glennon because in the end, we ended up being much more fortunate than many of the young patients there and although I was going through an emotional, postpartum whirlwind, I still had to count my blessings and give thanks to God. For by the grace and glory of him, we had a 48 hour stay, at a hospital that I have nothing but wonderful things to say. We were treated so great there and the nurses were absolutely amazing. We had a repeat chest x-ray on the day we were dismissed. Both mornings, we had a team (yes, a team of like 12 doctors and residents) come in to see Parker and discuss his progress with us. We went on very little sleep since we still weren't even caught up from his delivery. One of the many hard parts of this stay was still the unknown and being away from Nolan during all of this, too. He did come up on our 2nd night there and I couldn't help but lose it in front of him when it was time for him to go back to our house with Meemaw at night. My tears, of course, brought his own which were already building up in his eyes when he was told he had to go back home without his Mommy, Daddy, or new brother. He was just as confused as we were, after all, his life had changed tremendously only 6 days earlier. When we left the hospital, we left with no real answers, but several possible things that it could be...all of which the doctor was confident in that they were okay things and that my baby would be just fine. Unfortunately, without an actual "diagnosis," I still had my doubts and still, today...3 weeks later, am a little shaky on what to watch for. I still get nervous when his breathing gets even more rapid than usual or when he is really worked up and his chest does the "concaving" thing it does. Again, though, I know I need to trust in God and trust in my own Mommy instincts...and in my husband's Daddy instincts, as he was the one that showed concern first.
We are so incredibly grateful for those that helped us out during this ordeal. My mom, for rushing down with no notice to help out immediately. Jill for bringing us change of clothes and several goodies. Brian's parents for coming down to see how we were holding up. Our friends and family, that took the time out of their busy schedules to let us know they were thinking of us, praying with us, and there if we needed anything at all. We really are blessed to have some pretty amazing people in our lives...especially our two, beautiful and healthy sons.
I would have liked to title this "Roller Coaster of Love: The Final Chapter," but I know life is a roller coaster ride and unpredictable. We don't know what tomorrow will bring for any of us, but it's those low points that help us keep in perspective how great this life is and to not take it for granted.
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