4:30 a.m. When Sleep Won't Come...

So, here I sit at 4:30 in the morning having been awake since 1:00 a.m. For those of you that know me well, you know that this is so not me. I've tossed and turned and tried to shut off my mind, but sleep will not come. It's not even like there's one single thing keeping me from that peaceful shut eye...it's a million of the most random thoughts ever. Normally this ensues the night before I meet my classroom full of new kiddos, but even then, I get some good rest in  between those random "must-do's" and endless "to-do's."

Tonight, we had Meet the Teacher night...tomorrow morning brings our annual start of the year, Teacher's Institute. I cannot believe I'll be entering my TENTH year of teaching. It's crazy. My first group of 4th graders graduated high school this past spring. However, even that's not what is keeping me up entirely.

The boys are in Effingham with my parents. Probably sound asleep and kicking each other as they flip and flop about the bed as usual. My mom has been dealing with Shingles for about two weeks now and I know the last couple of nights she's had a difficult time resting...am I having sympathy pains?

Even Gunner, our 7 month old puppy, is sound asleep in his own bed.

I'm 37 1/2 weeks pregnant with Baby Curry #3. By this point, with Nolan, I'd already had a newborn for 4 days. With Parker? I'd have him in about 4 more days. The last couple of months I have had a difficult time sleeping soundly, but I at least get some rest.

So, here I am...debating whether to wake Brian up and try to talk him into an early morning breakfast date (my favorite meal of the entire day).

I don't know, maybe it is all of the above stirring in my head. I've never been absent at the beginning of a school year, both boys were spring babies and all of, most of, a large part of my important teaching has already concluded by April & May. Perhaps the anxiety of coming back after a sub is weighing a bit on my mind. Not to mention the last couple of years of teaching has changed so drastically that I worry I'm going to be so far behind and struggling to catch up (and connect) with this group of kiddos upon my return at the end of October/beginning of November. Even then, I know once baby is here I will not (hopefully) worry too much about it. Maybe I am hoping my Mom is getting some good rest tonight and feeling better quickly. I know the boys can be quite demanding and keep their Meemaw & Papa in full swing, go-go-go mode. Not to mention, it's important to me that she's able to be at the hospital when this little one arrives. Perhaps I am even a little worried about our new puppy adjusting to another crazy Curry kiddo ;) And maybe, just maybe, I'm still stuck in limbo between trying to soak up and enjoy every last minute of this pregnancy (which I am) because I know how incredibly much I am going to miss this experience...this miracle; yet, I am also anxious to see if this is a boy or girl (I'm still going with boy), see his/her face, go through my last labor and delivery, and smell, kiss, & love on this newborn baby that will grow much too quickly despite my efforts to slow it down and photograph it in my mind.

This summer was fun, but it was also different. Nolan and Parker are both so incredibly used to being around other kids and on such a routine/schedule that it made me realize I better develop a semi-structured schedule for next summer regardless of my own desire to be sporadic and spontaneous. With that said, we did keep busy: Six Flags, the zoo, the Arch, races to see their favorite racer and cousin, Levi, many ice cream trips, baseball games, Raging Rivers Waterpark, annual blackberry picking, several Cardinals games, and the splash pad. Did I mention at-home baseball games that took place several time a day? Or, the numerous, almost day long baseball games played in Meemaw & Papa's backyard (Papa even made a diamond in their yard with a back stop)? The daily arguments over who got to be Yadi...Nolan usually won this battle and Parker tends to change day-to-day between Adam Wainwright, Matt Holliday, and Matt Carpenter. Oh, and watch out if you mistakenly call him the name he was the day prior...he'll have no problem putting you in your place.

We've been quite busy creating memories...memories as a family of 4 that I will cherish forever, just as the ones I cherish and hold near to my heart as a family of 3. How is it that those first precious memories as a family of 3, that I do hold so closely, almost seem like a dream? It's so hard to even picture what that was like sometimes. It's so hard imagining life before Parker and all that he brings to our family. It's funny, because I can easily recall some silly feelings and worries I was having about adding #2 to the family at this point in my pregnancy, yet I still stand amazed how he just fit right in. I am, indeed, anxious to let this third baby fall right into place and see how quickly Nolan and Parker embrace him/her and find that this one, also, will fall right into place where he/she belongs. A family of 5.

It's been a long time since my Christmas Eve present to Brian announcing this little one was on the way, but it's also flown by.

PS: I may be slightly worried that I've lucked out with the other two never being awake in the middle of the night to "just be awake," they nursed and went right back to sleep with zero problems. I'm hoping this insomnia is not foreshadowing of what lurks ahead. But, if so, someone remind me that this too shall pass, and it'll pass quickly. ;)

"These are the days we will remember. These are the times that won't come again. The highest of flames become an ember and you gotta live 'em while you can. So take 'em by the hand, they're yours and mine. Take 'em by the hand and live your life. Take 'em by the hand, don't let them all fly by...days go by." -Keith Urban